Transparent

  It has been a week today since taking Jason to the airport... I think about the last several days and see God everywhere...

  He was there during the last moments at the airport before Jason had to go where the rest of us weren't allowed... there were so many tears... Kirby though being the oldest boy and taking over the role of "man of the house" till daddy is home was not about to cry in front of all those strangers... He was determined to be strong, I'm sure some of that was for me, as he kept his arm around my shoulder until we made it to the parking lot where we parked the suburban. We loaded up... I wiped my eyes as best I could and headed home, leaving part of me behind. I looked at the time, 12:25... I somehow managed, with the help of Halli & Shelbi to ask Kirby to pray for daddy, that his plane would be taking off in 10 minutes... I listened as my son opened his heart to God on behalf of his dad... the one who had held back all the tears... who tried so hard to be strong for mom... but when he went before God it was more than he had in him to fight it any longer... we can act, we can pretend, we can try so hard to be strong in front of others, but with God we are so transparent... my heart broke for my son but at the same time I was witnessing God's goodness... he was holding my son... he was holding all of us...

  He has held us close all week long... He has worked out things in the last few days I've been trying to figure out for months... I just needed to get out of the way... I have laid and cried at the feet of Jesus all week and while I was right where I needed to be, God was taking care of everything else... 

 " I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me." Proverbs 8:17